The Drinky Crow Show

Sorry I haven't done anymore rants, Work and school have me going in all directions and such, but I am back and here to do a rant on a show I have mixed feelings for.. The Drink Crow Show

If you are an avid watcher of Adult Swim ( I try to see it a few times a week), then you probably know about The Drink Crow Show which is based on the Mackies comics. I personally have mixed feelings about this show. I love the concept and the Animation isn't too bad ( Its kinda a mix of classic cartoon with that cell-shaded stuff thats all the rage these days) but I think the stories need a little more work.

My first encounter was of course the pilot where there were two stories, one with Drinky trying to find some Mermaid who he fell in love with, and the "B Story" was of a beatle and a fly trying to cope with the beatles fight with cancer, I actually ENJOYED it which was strange to me because I never understood the point of the whole thing, a few episodes into it though, I started to wean off it, It kept me interested a few times and there were some good stuff, like the episode with the Elephant man and the Beer Goggles episode ( I personally think all Women should have Desperation Goggles on so us Fat guys can get a little love.)

Now I know I haven't ripped it a new one yet, but trust me I will, the last episodes of Drinky Crow go like this.

Bar- Essentially its an attempt to make an 80's comedy Sitcom about a bar kinda like cheers without the catchy tune and you know..Comedy, its comes off as being stupid and has some weird plot hole of having Drinky and Uncle Gabby ( whoose suppose to be Irish but his accent sounds more like from Jersey, but I don't know many Jersey people), are at this bar, when they are mostly at sea...how do they resolve it.... THE DRINKY CROW AND UNCLE GABBY AT THE BAR ARE ACTUALLY ROBOTS!!!, Now that in itself would make me rage, but the next one if one of those "It Could have been good, but you just royally fucked it up" Kinda Episode

It deals with Captains Daughter ( the Daughter of the Captain DURRR) trying to do comedy and of course failing, I like this episode because it gets famous Comedy Jackie Mason as an undead vampire comedian who is brought up from the dead by Captains Daughter to teach her comedy.

Now you think thats a little crazy, it gets weirder. there is a French spy on the ship by the name of Divorcae ( or something along that line) who....get this

IMPREGNATES HERSELF WITH THE FRENCH NAVY AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF STEEL GURDLES AND SHIT AND TURNS HERSELF INTO A NUCLEAR BATTLE SHIP....now let me say it again... TURNS HERSELF INTO A FUCKING NUCLEAR BATTLE SHIP, that alone made me want to turn it off right then and there.

However the season finale is better and I prolly shouldn't spoil it if you haven't seen it...but I'm going to anyway.

The War finishes and Uncle Gabby goes into kidnapping for a bunch of rich Furries and Drinky becomes a father who doesn't really care about his kids but tries to do good for them...and then the War is back on and they go back out to Sea...thats pretty much what happens.

Drinky is one of those "Good most of the time, but if you get a bad episode you should do like Drinky and drink...ALOT" kinda show.

I give it a 7/10

Lets just hope they do the second season alot better ( if they even get one).

Twilight and why it sucks

Everywhere I go around my small little city, I always seem to find someone who is ranting about or wearing some sort of apparel from a certain nu "vampire" film called Twilight, and every moment I see someone wearing or talking about it, I wish to bludgeon them to death with some kind of implement, perhaps a broom or a small chair...ANYTHING!!!

Now why do I hate Twilight so much? I haven't really read the book and I haven't seen the film, so why am I against it? Two reasons which I will explain.

Reason one: Vampires are not prissy boys who can SPARKLE IN THE FUCKING SUN!!!!, hell they should not be able to go into the sun, let alone sparkle like some kind of diamond.

Reason two: Vampires are not romantic, Vampires are meant to be soul-sucking demons of the night who steal the life of their victims who in turn will become their servants and will help them suck even more life away from other people, never in most legends or films have vampires been romantic ( Unless you think ogf Count Orlock from Nosferatu, he was a sexy beast that's for sure).

Why have vampires become prissy little fruits? Its because of Anne Rice and her oversexualized Bi vampires that's why. Everyone thinks that just because they wear black a lot and drink blood, that means they must have the sexual stamina of an ox or something.

Twilight is basically Anne Rice without all the sex and descriptive innuendo. And whats makes my skin crawl more than anything is that people are actually enjoying this book and film, it boggles my mind when I try and get people to see the truth, either they are in extreme denial or they are just a bunch of yokels who have never seen Bela Lugosi or Brown's version of Dracula, I have gotten into fights with Hot Topic girls over this film because they all seem to think someone like the main character Edward exists, I got news for you girls...HE DOESN'T EXIST, if he does then he's probably some prissy little emo boy who pretends to be a vampire. But most of them say they like his personality, which is funny because I think of him as having the personality of a board, lifeless and desperatly wanting to be set on fire.

Any Straight man who goes to see this film, better get to go to third base afterwards.

thank you for reading this delightful rant, trust the others will be much...much worse.