Twilight and why it sucks

Everywhere I go around my small little city, I always seem to find someone who is ranting about or wearing some sort of apparel from a certain nu "vampire" film called Twilight, and every moment I see someone wearing or talking about it, I wish to bludgeon them to death with some kind of implement, perhaps a broom or a small chair...ANYTHING!!!

Now why do I hate Twilight so much? I haven't really read the book and I haven't seen the film, so why am I against it? Two reasons which I will explain.

Reason one: Vampires are not prissy boys who can SPARKLE IN THE FUCKING SUN!!!!, hell they should not be able to go into the sun, let alone sparkle like some kind of diamond.

Reason two: Vampires are not romantic, Vampires are meant to be soul-sucking demons of the night who steal the life of their victims who in turn will become their servants and will help them suck even more life away from other people, never in most legends or films have vampires been romantic ( Unless you think ogf Count Orlock from Nosferatu, he was a sexy beast that's for sure).

Why have vampires become prissy little fruits? Its because of Anne Rice and her oversexualized Bi vampires that's why. Everyone thinks that just because they wear black a lot and drink blood, that means they must have the sexual stamina of an ox or something.

Twilight is basically Anne Rice without all the sex and descriptive innuendo. And whats makes my skin crawl more than anything is that people are actually enjoying this book and film, it boggles my mind when I try and get people to see the truth, either they are in extreme denial or they are just a bunch of yokels who have never seen Bela Lugosi or Brown's version of Dracula, I have gotten into fights with Hot Topic girls over this film because they all seem to think someone like the main character Edward exists, I got news for you girls...HE DOESN'T EXIST, if he does then he's probably some prissy little emo boy who pretends to be a vampire. But most of them say they like his personality, which is funny because I think of him as having the personality of a board, lifeless and desperatly wanting to be set on fire.

Any Straight man who goes to see this film, better get to go to third base afterwards.

thank you for reading this delightful rant, trust the others will be much...much worse.